Largest Collection of SMS Jokes on Internet and funny sms jokes for you to text message on your cellphone. A good collection of Funny sms, SMS Jokes, Free Sms jokes, Online SMS Jokes, Daily SMS Jokes, Funny SMS, SMS Free Jokes, SMS adult jokes,SMS asian jokes, SMS Indian jokes, SMS American jokes, quotes, 1 liners and more
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Sometimes in life
• Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut...! Just think about ME...!!
• Either U can complain coz roses hv thorns or U can rejoice coz thorns hv roses...Just a beautiful way 2 say dat Life is d way 'U' look at it.Have a great day!
• Heated Gold becomes ornament; beated Copper becomes wire; depleted stone becomes statue; so, the more pain u get in life, more Valuable u become.
• Hate, but love more. Order, but agree more. Talk, but listen more. Punish, but forgive more. Then people will luv u forever. Try it !
• Eyes r parents, heart is lover, brain is teacher, fingers brothers & sisters, but a loving friend is blood! So, always keep flowing regularly. Gud Morning!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Alchol consumption
How can one reduce consumption of alchol? Before marriage drink only on days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r happy.
Heart Attack
JAANVAR
1 LADKI SE TAKRAYA, LADKI BOLI, AADMI HO YA JAANVAR? LADKA BOLA, JAAN TO TUM HO, HUM TO VAR HAI
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Heart is lover
• Eyes r parents, heart is lover, brain is teacher, fingers brothers & sisters, but a loving friend is blood! So, always keep flowing regularly. Gud Morning!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Friends may be old
• Champions r not superhumans, they just fight for one extra second, when everyone else quit. Remember, sometimes one extra second of effort gives u the Success. Keep trying!
• Care for the one who shares with u, share with the one who knows u, know the one who misses u, miss the one who wishes the best for U.
• Art of friendship is like playing a musical instrument. First u must learn to play by rules & then u must forget the rules & play from ur Heart.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I send SMS to u
• When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.
• Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.
• Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai
• Rabba dukh na devin yaar mere nu, saanu chahe dukhan da pahaar de de,
Phire nawe HERO JET cycle utte yaar mera, saanu bhaven purani Mercedes car de de
• Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN
• Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
• J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !
• Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?
Munda: Haan
Sharaab?
Haan
Drugs?
Haan
Jua?
Haan
Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?
Munda: Haanji, HIV+
• Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile
Jija Sali
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
• Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
• An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
• Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.
• A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?
Push......Paa.
• Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.
• Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana
• Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha aato ho.
Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.
Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.
• Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack
• Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
Another Moon?... Possible
• Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don’t u d rejects my parpoz b'coz I don’t parpoz d ROZ ROZ!
• If U Don’t Eat Junk food, Don’t Smoke, Don’t Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: www.PaidaKyunHuethe.com
• Another Moon?... Possible
Another Sun?... Possible
Another Sky?... Possible
Another person Like U?... Impossible
'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice.
• I'm leaving India!
Actually Aishwarya is pregnant and media is suspecting me. Tum bhi nikal lo, uski kaam wali bhi pregnant hai.
• Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!
• It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI
• Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.
• Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega.
• Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.
Meaning of ABCDEFG
Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again
• Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai, sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?
• Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!
• A Baniya walking on the road suddenly bent & touched d road n said furiously: 'Loki thuk vi aewein sutde ne jiven Rupeya peya hove!'
• A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
• What did the Zero say to the Eight?
Nice Belt
• Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!
Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?
• Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...
• A lady to another lady: Jab tera divorce hua tha tab to ek hi baccha tha aur ab 3 kaise?
She says: Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the...
• Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.
Free SMS to Nepal SMS gateway to Nepal
Yamraj
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
• Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?
Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.
• Kalyug Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han.
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?
• Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!
• Dear reciever, I'm a Blonde Virus. I'm not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !
• Ladkewaale: Ladki ka naam kya hai?
Ladkiwaale: Hamari pyari, aapki pyaari sabki pyari, Rampyari. Ladke ka naam kya hai.
Ladkewale: Hamara Gu, aapka Gu, ham sabka gu JAGGU
• Log kehte hain ki khuda ne aapko badi fursat mein banaaya hai...
Theek hi kehte hain, faltoo kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jaate hain.
• Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood:
Red: Wild
Black: Sexy
Blue: Romantic
Pink: Seductive
White: Calm
Yellow: Time to change it...
• Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!
• Ek c Raja...
Ek c Rani...
Dono mar gaye khatam kahani.
.
.
.
.
.
Na thalle hun ki dead body labni hai?
Care for
• Art of friendship is like playing a musical instrument. First u must learn to play by rules & then u must forget the rules & play from ur Heart.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Sardarji
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
"Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
Actor: wat if i die?
Sardar: Dats not at all a problem, It's the last scene.....
coz guruji told him musibath jithni choti ho utna acha.......
Thief: There is Rs 150 in the purse.We can take 50_50.
Sardar slowley asked him,"what abt the balance 50"
allnight he did not sleep thinking who is the father of the second child!!!!
sardar: got upper birth friend: y didnt u exchange?
sardar: oye,there was nobody 2 exchange lower birth.
I asked why?
Sardar says foolish drivers using two trucks to carry a Rope.
He goes to wife and says, tell me one joke in which i am not involved!
she said "I AM PREGNANT...!!!"
SMS
which you wouldn't have had if you had stayed single... :-)
My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding,
she doesn't Trust me & I dont Understand her.
700 2nd time & 1000 3rd time. student - how much 4 a season pass?
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola...
Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
1 - monkey - is - angry - 1 - monkey - is - still - reading -
1 - monkey - wil 4ward - dis - msg - to - anodr - monkey !
left nothing is right, in right nothing is left.
oops i am so sorry ........ - thats your personal matter!
Hey! Don't get excited, I love other alphabets too...v, w, x, y, z !
That's because Meneka Gandhi says "Love Animals" !
I think its enough abt ME, wht abut U....
but yes, even God makes mistakes!
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
n mental qualification.....hats off to u,for managing without them!!!
Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
Stupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
Stupid Man + Stupid Woman = Marriage !
Mukesh: "Hello kon bol raha hai? thik se sunai nahi deta. call me on my HUTCH mobile!"
Jo iska matlab samajh aaye to please mujhe bhi bata dena.....
Sincere Apology : If u dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont hesitate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.
Addition of problems, subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies & division of friends
but our sardar painted " Dr chopra Psycho the rapist ".
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!!
I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!...
When i was unhappy you were there.
Now i have understood ki sare fasad ki jad tu hai..
it can only be changed from one girl friend to another...
Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi dosti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein mile :)
aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka,
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai
Jab laat maaregi naari to yaad aayegi hamari.....
Purush bachao samiti ki taraf se Janhit mein jaari...
Indian: a new born baby has no head we fitted coconut and he became railway minister.
lalu replies 'nahi, hamare yaha khud hi pakarte hai'.
he says no i m sagitarian.
she says no sir r u shakahari or mansahari?
he says no i m bihari.
LALU:-Ek dost ko chitthi lakhat hu.
RABDI:-Par tohar likhna to aawe nahi...!
LALU:-Vo sasura bhi to padhna jaanat nahi.
Aankhen band hai phir bhi nazar aa rahe ho,
Na jane kyon aisa lagta hai jaise saamne khade ho aur POONCHH HILAA rahe ho...!!!
Dil me "SACHCHAI" aur Chehre me "SAFAI"
phir kyon na bole her LADKI apko "BHAI".
socha tha dil se laga ke rakhe us tasvir ko,
par wo toh bacchon ko darane ke kaam aayi...
he he hhe he he hee he he hha ha ho ho ho ho he he he.........
KUCH NAHIN BAS TUMHARI SHAKAL YAAD AA GAYI.... ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho.....
Shayari SMS
Samne aate hi nazar jhukate hai woh,
Baat karte nahi, ya hoti nahi,
Par shukar hai jab bhi milte hai muskurate hai woh.
• Zindagi de 4 din hass khed k katt lo,
Pyar naal duniya ch khatna jo khat lo,
Lutt lo nazara jag wale mele da,
Pata nahio hunda yaaro aun wale wele da... Enjoy!
• Moor ker na dekh mujhe, yoon hanstay hanstay,
Mere dost hain baray hoshiyaar, keh dengay bhabhi Namaste.
• Dil ke dard ko dil todne waala kya jaane,
pyaar ke rivajo ko ye jmaana kya jaane,
hoti hai kitni takleef kabar mein,
upper se phool chadane waala kya jaane
• Dil do to kisi ek ko,
Aur do to kisi nek ko...
Jo samjhe pyaar ke matlab ko..
Jab tak saccha dildar na mile, try karte raho har ek ko.
• Har khushi teri taraf mod doon,
Tere liye chand taare tak tod doon,
khushiyo ke darwaje tere liye khol doon,
Itna kaafi hai ya do chaar jhoot aur bol du
• Judai apki rulati rahegi,
yaad apki aati rahegi,
pal pal jaan jati rahegi,
jab tak jism mein hai jaan har saans ye rishta nibhati rahegi.
• Har daag, daag nahi hota, har yaar wafadar nahi hota,
Yeh to dil milne ki baat hai, varna saat pheron mein bhi pyar nahi hota.
• Tere naal dosti akhri sah tak nibawange,
Tere pairan thalle assi ta talliyaan tikaawange,
Jado marzi parakh lai mere dosta,
Teri mashuk asi phasavange.
• AMLI kehnda hai: Kafan na pao mere Chehre te, mainu aadat hai muskraun di.
Ajj di raat na dafnaao mainu yaro, aaj umeed hai Bhukki wale truck de aaun di.
Hindi SMS
Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya.
Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya,
Sari Class Fail, Aur..... Papu Pass Ho Gaya....
Dil me bajenge RING TONE ki tarah.,.,
Dosti kum nahi hongi BALANCE ki tarah.,.,
Sirf aap busy na rehana NETWORK ki tarah.....
Jaisa hai Rishta humaraa dusraa koi nahi!
Chahe saari duniyaa me dhund lo;
Mere jaisa Pyaraa, aur Tere jaisa Aawaraa aur koi nahi!!
"Kya main tumhara pehla pyar hoon?"
BIWI Boli, "Kar di na sardaro wali baat,
SPINNER ko kabhi opening milti hai...
kabhi humari tarah bhi jiya karo..
roz mere sms padh kar sharam nahi aati..
kabhi khud bhi sms kiya karo..
SMS Jokes
son: I start cleaning toilet.
Dad: how does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.
husband asks, do u know the meaning of wife.
it means... - without - informtion - fighting - evrytime!
wife on hearng this says, it could also mean - with idiot for ever!
A Noble Award winner dedicated his Novel to his wife and wrote
Its dedicated to my Wife because in her absence I could complete this Book
think positive... look at the world as 1 huge chocolate cake.
it would not be complete without a few sweets & nuts.
sweets like me & nuts like you!!!
hi, wats up... listen can i get a picture of urs?...
the thing is that i have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of natural disasters!
Whats the difference between Data and Information?
362436 - Data
36-24-36 Information!..
Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains. Rest have Girlfriends
Emotional account
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Todays SMS
• Past is experience! Present is experiment! Future is expectation! Use your experience in your experiment to achieve ur expectations. Gud Day!
• Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'
• Start the Day with a deep breath, inhale all the Luv & Goodness of God, exhale the tears, fears & worries. Have a great day!
• Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!
• May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love & all other colors you want to paint in ur life. Happy Holi.
• Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas & melodious songs r the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wishing U a very happy & colourful Holi.
• When God takes away something from ur hands don't think he's punishing u. He's just leaving u empty handed to receive something better. Gud Day!
• Always be Happy, always wear a smile; Not because life is full of reasons to smile but because ur smile itself is a reason for many others to smile!
• Always try ur best to get whatever u love otherwise you will be forced to love whatever u get! Have a great Day!
Monday, March 5, 2007
Love SMS
• To love is a duty and right. To be loved is a gift and luck. To love someone who loves u is an achievement. To be loved by someone whom u love is LIFE!
• U r the reason I wake up in the morning, u r the reason I find a way to smile, u r the person who can change everything around when it's going bad. Luv U
• Love ur life coz life is a long journey to go. Life is a game yet to be played more. Life is a question yet to be answered more. Life is a challenge yet to be faced more. So live ur life as long as u can. Every moment is lovable in life.
• Luv is what I see in ur smile. Luv is what I feel in every touch u give. Luv is what I hear in every word u say. Luv is what we share everyday. Luv U!
• Never ask for a kiss, just take it.Never ask for a hug, just give it.Never ask do u Luv me? Say I Luv u.Never say I can't live without u, say I live for U
• Happiness is not something u postpone for the future. It's something u design for the present. Make each moment a happy one. I hv by remembering U!
• Luv doesn't ask who r u? Luv only says u r mine. Luv doesn't ask where r u from? Luv only says U live in my heart. Luv doesn't ask what do u do? Luv only says U make my heart beat. Luv doesn't ask why r u far away? Luv only says u r always with me. Luv doesn't ask Do u love me? Luv only says I LUV U.
• Don't search luv, let luv find u. It's called falling in luv, coz u don't force urself to fall, u just fall and there will be someone to catch U
• In life Luv is never planned nor does it happen for a reason. But when Luv is real, it becomes ur Plan for life and ur reason for living.
Missing You SMS
• God must be partial to have endowed a single soul with so much beauty, grace, panche, elgance & allure. If I ever have d luxury of dreaming of u, I bet I'll b afraid of waking up coz I wouldn't want 2 lose U!
• Nobody's right till sumbody's wrong.Nobody's weak till sumbody's strong.Nobody's lucky till luv comes along.Nobody's lonely till sumbody's gone. Missing U!
• Those we Luv never go away, they walk beside us everyday... unseen & unheard, still near... still loved... still Missed & still very dear. Missing U
• Whenever I miss U, I won't luk 4 u in my dreams or try to hear ur voice in ur msgs. I'll just put my right hand across my chest & will feel U!
• Every tear is a sign of brokenness, every silence is a sign of loneliness, every smile is a sign of kindness, every SMS is a sign of rememberance. Miss U!
• Your absence should be long enough so that somebody misses u, it shouldn't be so long that somebody finds out that how well he can do without u...!
• A raindrop may luk 2 small 2 eyes but sumwhere a thirsty flower await its fall. A sms may seem 2 small but sumwhere a heart remembers u when it receives ur sms. Keep SMS'ing.
• What makes a frindship special is the way each one remembers the other when they are apart. They miss the talks, the laughs n the time they spent together. Life changes, memories don't. I miss U.
• Message: * some text missing* Sender:* Name Missing * *Number Missing *Sent: * Date missing * Missing U a lot thats y everything is missing.
SMS Zone
• Start the Day with a deep breath, inhale all the Luv & Goodness of God, exhale the tears, fears & worries. Have a great day!
• Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!
• May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love & all other colors you want to paint in ur life. Happy Holi.
• Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas & melodious songs r the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wishing U a very happy & colourful Holi.
• When God takes away something from ur hands don't think he's punishing u. He's just leaving u empty handed to receive something better. Gud Day!
• Always be Happy, always wear a smile; Not because life is full of reasons to smile but because ur smile itself is a reason for many others to smile!
• Always try ur best to get whatever u love otherwise you will be forced to love whatever u get! Have a great Day!
• Friendship is a bridge between U n Me, when u r sad & lonely cross it, I'll wait on the other side forever & if u r afraid, just tell me, I'll cross it for U.
• When God leads u to the edge of a cliff Trust him fully & let go coz only one of the 2 things'll happen; either he'll catch u wen u fall or he'll teach u how to fly!
• If people around you, are trying to pull you down, be proud about it! It only means one thing: U are above them! Gud Day!
Sunday, March 4, 2007
SMS of the day
• May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love & all other colors you want to paint in ur life. Happy Holi. |
• Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas & melodious songs r the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wishing U a very happy & colourful Holi. |
• When God takes away something from ur hands don't think he's punishing u. He's just leaving u empty handed to receive something better. Gud Day! |
• Always be Happy, always wear a smile; Not because life is full of reasons to smile but because ur smile itself is a reason for many others to smile! |
• Always try ur best to get whatever u love otherwise you will be forced to love whatever u get! Have a great Day! |
• Friendship is a bridge between U n Me, when u r sad & lonely cross it, I'll wait on the other side forever & if u r afraid, just tell me, I'll cross it for U. |
• When God leads u to the edge of a cliff Trust him fully & let go coz only one of the 2 things'll happen; either he'll catch u wen u fall or he'll teach u how to fly! |
• If people around you, are trying to pull you down, be proud about it! It only means one thing: U are above them! Gud Day! |
• Have a heart that never hardens. A temper that never rises. A touch that never hurts. And a love that never fails... Have a good day! |
• Everything has a day... Every pet has a day... Every fool too has a day! Hope you might have enjoyed... your day! |